When I was pregnant, I was more worried about labour than about the mothering part,” confesses Libby Johnstone, mother of three-month-old Isobel. “When Isobel was actually born, I was in shock. It was all totally different than I’d expected. I’d had a Caesarean, so just getting up off the couch was really complicated.”
But Johnstone had heard the words that comfort many new mothers: By six weeks, your baby will be into a routine and life will be easier.
“Well, guess what? It’s not true,” she says. “After six weeks of feeding Isobel around the clock, it was like there was no day and no night. It’s crazy. It’s chaos.”
Hearing that life will settle down at six weeks can set up unrealistic expectations for new mothers, says Kathy Bell, manager of the Regional Niagara Public Health Department. “Six weeks is actually the peak of crying in new babies. It’s also a time when many babies go through a growth spurt and they communicate their need to eat very frequently by — you guessed it — more crying.”
Johnstone remembers that, although she admits it’s a bit of a blur. “Isobel’s gone through a couple of growth spurts now, where for three or four days she nurses all the time and only sleeps in little catnaps,” she recalls. “The one around six weeks left me feeling completely exhausted. But then she settled down again.”
If you have a colicky baby, the persistent and hard-to-soothe crying probably started at around two weeks — but it’s not likely showing any signs of easing up. Since colic usually lasts about three months, at six weeks you’re right in the middle of it.
Sleepless nights are also an ongoing issue for mothers of six-week-olds. “Most babies don’t have a reliable sleep pattern until they are at least four months old,” explains Bell. “So by six weeks, a new mother has had a month and a half of being woken up frequently at night. That can be very draining, both physically and emotionally.”
Another emotional challenge for Johnstone was the end of her time with the midwives who had cared for her during pregnancy, birth and the first six weeks. “It was actually very sad for me to be breaking off this relationship that had been so great,” she says.
Bell notes that even if a mother is seeing a family doctor rather than a midwife, she may lose other supports by the time the baby is six weeks old. “It’s the end of that honeymoon period,” Bell says. “The support you might have had from your own mother or other people tends to dwindle away by this point.”
So how can you cope with the six-week slump? Bell recommends:
• Keep responding to your baby’s cues. If you are breastfeeding, your baby may need to nurse frequently at this age to increase your milk production. Your prompt response is also important to the development of attachment between you and your infant.
• Dealing with the crying that peaks at this age can be tough, so get all the help you can. Enlist your partner, family and friends to help with carrying your baby as much as possible. Studies show carrying for several hours a day can cut the amount of crying in half. Try massaging your baby’s tummy if gas seems to be a problem. The sound of a vacuum cleaner or running water is also soothing to some babies.
• Take care of yourself. Sleep when your baby sleeps (no matter how many dirty dishes are piled in the sink), and if having an older child makes this impossible, at least lie down while your preschooler watches a video. Eat nutritious foods, and try to get outside for a walk with your baby every day.
• Connect with other mothers. Your local Public Health unit may offer groups for mothers with young babies; if you are breastfeeding, you might enjoy meeting other nursing moms at a La Leche League Canada meeting. At these gatherings, you can get to know other mothers who are going through the same things — a great source of support and ideas to help you cope.
Bell reminds parents that despite the challenges, there are lots of wonderful things about six-week-old babies. For one thing, their smiles are definitely responsive and guaranteed to warm any parent’s heart. “Your baby is also able to grasp a toy, like a rattle, and can follow a toy with her eyes if you move it back and forth in front of her face,” Bell adds. “You’ll also be getting lots of cooing and gurgling sounds — the beginning of conversations.”
Libby Johnstone also recalls that at six weeks, she was beginning to feel a bit more confident. “The most important thing that happened at around six weeks was kind of a revelation that my life had really changed. It was like I suddenly saw what was required — that I needed to do things very, very differently than in the days before Isobel was born.”
